feeling like a failure f*ckup must be universal this week. BUT let me tell you this. I had the best day i've had in a long time yesterday. after some morning joga and hugging Min off to work, i backtracked and parked my car at one of its usual homes dowtown toronto. i hit up the bank for some coffee cash and ran into Z. he's stillworking in graphics and his wife is scheduled to have baby #2 by C section on thursday. I walked him to the office on Atlantic and snuck into the building to say hi to Mike Sweet. Mikey and his wife have adopted their first baby. Yuna is 9 months old and in good hands! After gooing and gaaaaaing i set out through automatically locked doors to say hi to paula the receptionist and asked her about her little guy too. she said have a great day and i left. sunshine was there and i set out under the pigeon poo brigde towards queen west. i hadn't hit shaw when i ran into Quan...clearly running late with a latte..which is weird for him on both accounts. I forgot that queen st. doesn't start up anytime before noon. which for some reason was still nice. i like the city when its quiet and active at the same time. i walked to spadina slowly because Taro was closed for breakfast! I killed time with my wired magazine until 12 and met jasmin for lunch at cossette. she treated me to delicious carrot ginger soup and sandwiches at a busy artsy/intelligent cafe where people with "smart forheads" feast their eyes on walls of gourmet ingredients and dark chocolate. walking her back to work i ran into a friend i hadn't seen in four years. Markus and Rita live in oakville, are both working in computer arts and have just had their first child. I stopped to pee.
Moving along i travelled back up to queen and started the trek back. hit the stores i wanted to hit, volunteered to silkscreen with the playdead cult over the holidays, ran into Neil, another artist. looked for a baby shower gift for a girl at work, called out brianhowe for coffee and talked about the 5 year plan he finished for himself last night. walked back onto Liberty. called Leann, "my friend who looks like me" who wanted me to stay downtown to hang out and gave me the keys to her appartment. BTW i had the BEST coffee catch up time with CHRiS ALLeN who will never hate me as much as he thinks he does.
By this time i've been walking for 7 hours around the immediate downtown core, running into people i haven't seen in forever. i was chilled and pretty thirsty. I took her keys and headed back to my car only to run into two more people from the old office who, of course, say why don't you come in and say hi? So i killed the next hour catching up in the old/new office. it has runways now, and cubicle pods. managed to get myself invited to the staff christmas party and made it back to leanns place on just as she pulled up with her bike.
now i'm really tired. and hungry.we caught up for a while and instead of heading home she talked me into going for dinner. work has been relentless as far as follow up and flounders goes. i've tried everything from costume to cake making in attempts to let it go but the truth is always there. its a matter of turning the table and shaking IT up for a change. switch up routines and keep moving. anyway, we had incredible vegan appetizers at an unfortunately nameless place in my head right now, but the atmosphere was perfect. i knew every freaking song on the indie tit playlist (thanks RYaN...) and we had two pots of looseleaf whole grain green tea with brown rice. we saddled up, she have me a hug, borrowed a cd and when i got home i found this picture in my inbox. i've been feeling defiant. sick of this settling feeling of a looming future and low frequency stimulation. frustrated and friendly do not go hand in hand, or up this seething social/economical ladder. the planets are rising, the rungs have rattle tails and i've gone renegade.