Rafflesia: A desk sized addition to daturas garden.

priorities shift constantly as do the days. and they always will. gut instinct can be associated with pattern recognition. if you agree with that then you've thought about it before.

previously i almost married. the dress in the window was mom approved and my dad would have groaned, but given me away. currently i am almost married. for all the wrong reasons, i'm terrified. pattern recognition can go to hell, my instincts feel burned to ash with my parents anyway.

visions dreams drugs. i used to rely on my emotional integrity. the most intimate relationship of this life. it let me know who i was, and what i wasn't. now i don't know what i am or who i'm meant to be. never right, never wrong, only honest. my actions feel mute and the storms coming in are throwing apples to the ground before my words even have a chance to be fruitful. instead i speak in hail and cold rain, hissing discomfort and somehow managing to grow only because water is essential to it and thats what i happen to be. tulips can't be rabbits she says. a flower will still be a flower, it just might be different depending on its growing conditions. this organic petal pusher has been a mystery for 200 years. it's related to the poinsettia and smells terrible. c'est la vie.

a demain.