en hiver!

one more distraction...besides the snow!
christmas is coming and i'm head first in the middle of exams. actually as of tomorrow its over for one more semester. i wish my mind would just retain more.

tibialis anterior
peroneus longus and brevis
scalene insertion
palmaris longus
nemesis serratus
proprioceptive neuromuscular facilitation as reciprocal inhibition and autogenic inhibition
coracobrachialis
pes anserine
acute aquired torticollis
RA is systemic
toes and fingers are numbered medial to lateral in anatomical position
mills test for lateral tendonopathy
reverse mills for medial tendonopathy

i wonder if i can remember the eight reindeer...

These pictures were taken by a photographer friend in october, it won't be 09 for much longer. My stare is floating out the window of this freshly painted room into freshly falling snow. First time this year, I think the wind is refusing to touch it just like everyone else. It's accumulating in the air like a shaken snow globe circulating. And just like that, it stops. The best part is the hazy orange sun behind it all.

Rafflesia: A desk sized addition to daturas garden.

priorities shift constantly as do the days. and they always will. gut instinct can be associated with pattern recognition. if you agree with that then you've thought about it before.

previously i almost married. the dress in the window was mom approved and my dad would have groaned, but given me away. currently i am almost married. for all the wrong reasons, i'm terrified. pattern recognition can go to hell, my instincts feel burned to ash with my parents anyway.

visions dreams drugs. i used to rely on my emotional integrity. the most intimate relationship of this life. it let me know who i was, and what i wasn't. now i don't know what i am or who i'm meant to be. never right, never wrong, only honest. my actions feel mute and the storms coming in are throwing apples to the ground before my words even have a chance to be fruitful. instead i speak in hail and cold rain, hissing discomfort and somehow managing to grow only because water is essential to it and thats what i happen to be. tulips can't be rabbits she says. a flower will still be a flower, it just might be different depending on its growing conditions. this organic petal pusher has been a mystery for 200 years. it's related to the poinsettia and smells terrible. c'est la vie.

a demain.